Lessons learned

 Lessons learned

Birthdays come and birthdays go. With no intent to celebrate or publicize, I ended up doing both. That is the way life is, usually out of your control. A young reader asked me what did I learn from life? I want to tell him I learned nothing. More a man trys to learn from life, more ends up doing opposite of it. One is too busy living life to learn. 

In anycase, at 70, life looks like a book written and published, or a movie produced and released. You can keep reading the book or watching the movie again and again but you can't change anything. 

A man who says he has changed during his life is most likely lying. A man remains as he shaped as a young boy. The die is cast before he is 18. What happens after that is all frill and fancy, to make him ready to act as script of life is unfolded. 

For the last many years, I have stopped making efforts to better myself. I refuse to read self-help books,  go to Gurus or seek counsel. I want to remain as I am; all faults of remain with me till the death do us apart.  

Having said this, I want to answer to the earnest young man in a gentlemanly manner. There are indeed a few 'lessons learned. These lessons are not earth shaking but more like tips that I wish I had got when I was 18. They are simple and easy to do lessons. 

1. Make sure you play sports as a young man. I missed it in my youth. I wish I had not. There is nothing better for the mind, spirit, and body than playing sports. 

2. Study subjects which you like and not what is likely to pay you more money. Life is infinitely more rewarding for those who study what they like. 

I can't make out the sense of my study of chemistry and management. I should have gone for literature and political science.

3. Take a year off the college and travel, possibly by railway. It does not matter where. There is no better education than travel. 

4. Do not start work until you feel you have studied fully, and there is no more education you need. Inadequate education hampers career.

5. As far as possible, marry after you have stabilized financially. Marry a working woman if possible. try to marry a woman who you love.

6. Build stress barriers while you are young. Besides, sports, incorporate books, music, travel, and at least one hobby even if as mundane as stamp collection. For me, that ship sailed long ago and I regret it.

7. Be liberal with children and allow them freedom of choice. They are like ships. Once built, they are not expected to remain in the harbor. 

8. There is nothing called work-life balance. If you want to rise in your career, be prepared to sacrifice a lot more than an average person. Make sure your family is comfortable with this.

9. Stay connected with the extended family and not just the nucleus family. I did this all my life and it was highly rewarding. 

10. Be fanatic to maintain good health. Health is wealth is not just a maxim; it is a hard reality, and it pays. 

Finally, learn to enjoy and appreciate good cheese, wine, and whiskey, good music and good friends. 

Without these, life is nothing. 

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